Down But Not Out

Writing everyday and making a post twice a week is a commitment i made to myself. It has not been easy and i think it has reflected in my everyday life.i have been through a turmoil in the last few days.My days have been more of laying on my bed in the fetal position. Feeling confused, lost, miserable and having random thoughts of some petty and crazy things.I know i am down but not out.

To console myself i entertained my sweet tooth, watched Fargo series(which by the way is boring), scattered everything everywhere, while going through my old notebooks and magazines. right at one point i stood hands akimbo, looked around my messy house, looked at the reflection i was staring at the mirror and realized, i am my own worst enemy! i was sinking my own ship and sooner or later i was going to drown with it and eventually die if i did not do something. I was drowning and suffocating myself with myself.I know i am down but not out.

Can i get out of mediocrity? Can i get out of my comfort zone? Can i just be me? Can i be the best of me? Can i get out of 'naomba serikali' mentality? Can i be the change i want to see? Can i? can i? Can?Can i just look at myself at the mirror and smile? All this time All these questions, I know i am down but not out.

After all just like the butterfly goes all those crazy life-cycle stages, i know i am going to emerge better. Be the source of joy, happiness, kindness, laughter, promise of a better future, and spread a lovely soft kiss on each an everyone of your cheeks and make the world a better place.In the Holy Book of 2nd Corinthians 4:8-9 it states...We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed....I know i am down but not out.

With the assurance that  something bad might happen to me, i might still cry, but feel comforted inside. I am sad outwardly, but my heart is not heavy at all. I might not understand why, but deep down inside me, there is something lifting me up. Making me have a sleepless nights unless i share this. that something buoyant, which is rising from the inside of me is the great power of God/Allah in me. So i know i am down but not out.

She is A Farm Girl

My holiday took an interesting turn when I visited my grandparents, they are amazing lovely, married for more than 40 years and I love them. By the way I was brought up in a farm. Trust me I came to Kenya’s Capital city in 2009, yeah! I have Never been to the city. Only in those few school trips we had in high school and primary school.

I was brought up in the infamous slopes of the Aberdares and I would say I am son of soil like Wahome Mutahi did but naaaah, I am a beautiful daughter of my mother, and my grandfather’s pet granddaughter.At this time of the year, winter has  hits us hard.

You want to know what people wear, or what I wear when I get there?...right now , other than the essential clothing, I have a jumper, a coat on top ,a headscarf, pair of gumboots socks and trousers…a very long skirt and gloves. In this part of the world gumboots are the most precious pair of shoes you can have, they are all weather and yeah..durable than any other type of shoes. The other popular type of shoe you can wear..is any canvas shoe by Bata or some sport shoes…so forgive me when you find me wearing sports shoes and a jeans skirt….it’s not a fashion crime, it’s what I know as right .

You boast or take pleasure …or whatever you do …in taking ice-cream or cakes for dessert, I always had a grilled green maize for my dessert, and it was the best. So roasted maize was my thing after dinner, but it is not what Nairobians eat as roasted maize….you have no idea of what you eat…..I ate sweet, juicy and soft green maize as opposed to what I find on the streets…unchewable, burnt and they are just flat….no taste at all. My Ideal breakfast was some sour milk (what you call Greek yoghurt) Ugali and a boiled egg or it could be some sweet potatoes, some arrow roots or Irish potatoes. Guys what do you eat for your breakfast? Weetabix? Milk?...that is very over processed milk…that’s why I seldom take milk.

 By the way, before I met the real sugar cane, I used to eat some maize stalks. Choosing the juiciest was an art, and the color of the stalk could tell it all. I could enjoy as i crushed out the juice of the maize stalks….and later we could eat the boiled maize from the stalks as starters.

Life at the farm is awesome, being a shepherd in the morning, collecting eggs at lunch time and listening to mythological stories after dinner from my grandmother. The air is fresh and pure and mornings are filled with birds singing after cock crows wakes you up. 

The smell of fresh dung is still stored in my medulla and deafening croaking during the rainy season, I can see the beautiful flowering season and the hot harvest season too. 

The memories at the farm are irreplaceable.  I smile and a wait till I build my own farm house.

You have just met the farm girl….thank you for the read

My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust......

My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible.

from here

All are of no value unless they are followed by action.


Action is the food and drink which will nourish my success.

My procrastination which has held me back was born of fear and now I recognize this secret mined from the depths of courageous hearts. Now I know that to conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my heart will vanish. now I know that action reduces the lion of terror to an ant of equanimity.




I will not avoid the tasks of today and charge them to tomorrow for I know that tomorrow never comes. Let me act now even though my actions may not bring happiness and success for it is better to act and fail than not to act and flounder.

from here

For NOW is all i have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the evil become good. I am not evil. Tomorrow is the day when the weak become strong. I am not weak. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not failure.

I hunger for success. I thirst for happiness and peace of mind. Lest I act, I will perish in life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights. I will command, and i will obey mine own command.

from here

I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. Henceforth, I will repeat these words again and again and again, each hour, each day, every day, until the words become as  much a habit as my breathing and the actions which follow become as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words, I can condition my mind to perform every act necessary for my success. with these words I can condition my mind to meet every challenge which the failure avoids.




Be with me with the NOW revolution, hold hands, encourage each other and get the best out of everything.

I love you....thank you for passing by!